Her Mothers Daughter: A Memoir of the Mother I Never Knew and of My Daughter, Courtney Love
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We find it astonishing that any mother should write such a book. This is especially true in the case of Ms Carroll, who abandoned her daughter when she was seven-year-old and whom Ms Love thus barely knows at all. In person, Linda Carroll is calm, easygoing, steady.
As she speaks, she weighs her words. She is imposingly tall and, though there is nothing grungy about her, flashes of her famous daughter's face appear now and again in hers. Their noses are identical and there is an uncanny resemblance in their eyes. Carroll, whom I meet on the New York leg of her book tour, lives in Oregon and works as a family therapist. She has been with her fourth husband for 20 years; her other four children are grown up, happy and close to her; but her book is about the terrible secrecy surrounding her own adoption.
Carroll's diagnosis of her daughter is that she was a 'bi-polar' child - though that word was not known at the time - and believes that the drugs Courtney was prescribed to help her sleep led her to become addicted to heroin later. Courtney was also surrounded by grief as a child, a fact that makes her status as a grieving widow and mother seem achingly ironic. Within years of Courtney's birth, both Carroll's adoptive parents died, her best friend died and her three-month-old baby died.
The family - Carroll by now on her third husband - moved to New Zealand and left Courtney behind; she was shunted from one parent and step-parent to another. Love's father was an LSD freak with 'paranoid tendencies' when Carroll met him as a teenager. He drew psychedelic magic-marker patterns all over Courtney's body when she was a toddler and described his daughter in the press as 'a mean bitch'.
I was probably more afraid of what was going on inside her than she was. When Kurt Cobain was found dead from a self-inflicted gunshot wound, there was one person Love wanted to call. Please come and be here with me now. I tell Carroll how heartbreaking I found it that her daughter should have still needed her. That is not perhaps exactly true: But readers will know better, for that baby grows up to be Courtney Love, desperately attention-seeking, deeply troubled, and one of the most talented women in rock.
Even as a baby, Courtney is beset by mood swings that no doctor can explain or cure. Her dark moods and paranoia escalate as she grows up, driving mother and daughter apart. When Courtney has a daughter of her own, Linda finally decides to find her own biological mother, and end the estrangement of generations of first-born daughters. Her Mother's Daughter is Linda Carroll's story of self-discovery as an adopted daughter, a childlike hippie mother, and a woman determined to find herself before finding her roots.
Set apart from the typical celebrity memoir by Carroll's gifted storytelling, Her Mother's Daughter gives a fresh perspective on the elusive yet enduring connections between mothers and daughters, and reveals the true history of the wildly confabulatory Courtney Love. Product details Format Paperback pages Dimensions x x 20mm People who bought this also bought. Borrowed Finery Paula Fox.
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Her Mother's Daughter : A Memoir of the Mother I Never Knew and of My Daughter, Courtney Love
The Diary of a Bookseller Shaun Bythell. The Plant Messiah Carlos Magdalena. The Reason I Jump: Runaway Amish Girl Emma Gingerich. Then again, it probably wouldn't have helped. Narcissists like this can never identify with anyone else. That's what makes them so special! View all 13 comments. Apr 13, Gwen rated it really liked it. This memoir was written by Courtney Love's mother.
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It turns out the whole family was a bit insane, though none approached Courtney's levels. Parts of the book seem filtered through later events--such as her ability to tell when Courtney was just an infant that there was something strange about her. But the book isn't just--or primarily--about her daughter's life. She discussed her own upbringing by her adoptive parents, including her lecherous adopted father and unaffectionate mother.
She later g This memoir was written by Courtney Love's mother. She later goes through a predictable cycle of dependence on men, wanting to find someone to save her and give her life stability and meaning. She moved almost immediately from one relationship to the next. She has trouble getting over her Catholic upbringing enough to use birth control, so she has 6 children along the way, often at inopportune times. On the one hand, given her upbringing, including sexual molestation by her adopted father and the messed-up relationship between her adoptive parents, I can't blame her too much for taking a while to get her life together and for making many bad decisions along the way.
Her Mother's Daughter: A Memoir of the Mother I Never Knew and of My Daughter, Courtney Love
At the same time, it's hard not to be horrified at some of those decisions, particularly giving her adopted son, who she raised for 3 years, to another family he'd only known a couple of months. And the constant uprooting of the kids as they moved to be with one man after another was surely traumatizing.
Under other circumstances, I'd probably be doubtful of her account of Courtney's behavior--it might seem like a justification for sending her to live with friends, a stepfather, and then eventually to a group home. And I'm sure the instability of her homelife didn't help Courtney any. But given what we know of her, I'm willing to give her mom the benefit of the doubt and bet that Courtney was an extremely difficult child to deal with even under the best of circumstances and that sending her to a group home probably seemed like the only solution at the time.
Honestly, it's hard for me to quite grasp that she has a mother and siblings who probably act somewhat normally and have to hear about her antics second-hand through the media. And I can't even imagine what it would be like to know she's raising your grandchild.
Her Mother's Daughter : Linda Carroll :
So overall it's a short, enjoyable read, even if maybe she lets herself off the hook a little too easily. Jul 27, Jayne Lamb rated it really liked it. Fascinating story about how Courtney's mom was a far from typical housewife. Lots of insights for real courtntney fans, others might find it a bit of a struggle.
Dec 23, Terry rated it did not like it Shelves: I stumbled across this while waiting for Paula Fox's Borrowed Finery to arrive. And despite patting herself on the back for being, like, so self-aware that she becomes a healer, like, it's pretty atrocious that a woman who dines out on the anguish she suffered as an adoptee Blecch. And despite patting herself on the back for being, like, so self-aware that she becomes a healer, like, it's pretty atrocious that a woman who dines out on the anguish she suffered as an adoptee treats her own adopted son like an afterthought just before she hands him off to another family to raise because she just can't find the time or energy to pay attention to him, literally.
Shallow and meaningless, published only because she is related to someone famous. I forgot to mention that Carroll seems to go to some trouble to establish her belief that Courtney Love was "wrong" from birth--Carroll suggests not-too-subtly that Courtney Love is an actual sociopath. Whether this is true or not, the way in which Carroll--a woman who goes on and on and ON about her pain from being misunderstood and neglected--depicts her own daughter in her writing is really just, well, heartless.
May 17, Catherine rated it it was amazing. Linda Carroll writes about her life as an adopted daughter, her yearning to know her birth mother, her several kids, couple of marriages and moving to New Zealand with her third husband. Her life story is very interesting. She discusses her first born, Courtney Love, but doesn't overburden her readers with a biography of Courtney. She addresses Courtney's eccentricities but doesn't gloss over the fact that Courtney is a very disturbed woman. Carroll stays truthful throughout but doesn't place bl Linda Carroll writes about her life as an adopted daughter, her yearning to know her birth mother, her several kids, couple of marriages and moving to New Zealand with her third husband.
Carroll stays truthful throughout but doesn't place blame or seek sympathy from her readers either. I enjoyed this book very much. Dec 10, Katrina rated it really liked it. I am not surprised that this woman is courtney love's mother. Jun 07, Juliette rated it really liked it Recommends it for: This book is written by Courtney Love's mother, famed therapist Linda Carrol.
Aside from the Courtney Love part which I find really interesting, but it's only a part of the story , this is a really interesting book about growing up in San Francisco, coming of age in SF in the 's, dealing with a difficult family and adoption, travel and communes in the 's, and the way families remember struggles.
It also really sheds light on what sad and lonely childhoods both Carroll and Love experienc This book is written by Courtney Love's mother, famed therapist Linda Carrol. It also really sheds light on what sad and lonely childhoods both Carroll and Love experienced. Jan 08, Grace Burgess rated it it was amazing. Amazing story, dont know why anyone wouldn't love this book. I am a big Courtney fan and was prepared to hate this book and her mother but after the first chapter I realized this was a very deep,honest, funny and brave woman. By now we know that in spite of her many talents, Courtney does not tell the truth about anything, and I think her mother tells the truth.
She does not let herself off the hook, but shows us something deeper and more true about how people develop. She is a great writer and Amazing story, dont know why anyone wouldn't love this book. She is a great writer and I see where Courntey gets some of her talent, would be such a good movie. Jan 12, Gato rated it did not like it. The fact that this woman is writing books and currently working as a therapist!!!
I would have been embarrassed to publish this book as she glibly tells of her life wherein she essentially jumps from bed to bed and continues to reproduce kids that she leaves all over while she globe trots with her latest conquests, while still married I found no love for her characte Just plain awful. The most telling part of the book for me came when her adopted son visited a family and refused to come home at the ripe old age of 7, I think Is it any wonder her firstborn Courtney Love is so filled with rage?
I understand the babydoll dresses and Baby Jane-style makeup now, as she was completely robbed of her childhood having to live with a mother like this. I was horrified the whole time I read it. Mar 31, Kitty rated it did not like it Shelves: I have no interest in being an author bully, but as a warning: I am going to be a blunt as I possibly can here. As a psychotherapist myself, this book makes me queasy. This narcissist attempts to paint herself as a wide-eyed innocent who either "didn't know any better" as a parent, or was the victim of her own supposedly disturbed child.
She might be able to pass off past behavior as naivete, but to be a practicing therapist and lack any kind of insight? If she I have no interest in being an author bully, but as a warning: If she owned up to the atrocious mistakes she made it might be easier to forgive her blatant neglect-- and outright abandonment-- of her children. But her frequent assertions that she was an unwitting victim throughout her life, and her inability to take any kind of responsibility for her own behavior make her not just unlikeable and unforgivable, but downright scary.
The fact that she is currently a practicing therapist is even more terrifying. I would not be surprised in the least if she has been sued at least once for malpractice. And maybe she has. I'm not going to waste my energy trying to dig up that information. People like this are why everyone thinks therapists are "crazy. Jan 10, Bethany rated it liked it Shelves: And yes, they are the same person. Linda Carroll writes her life from her adoption by a childless couple through her reunification with Fox and the birth of her granddaughter, Frances Bean Cobain. She treats her eldest daughter, Courtney, with sensitivity and care; Courtney suffers from bipolar disorder and if this comes as a shock to anyone, I will be shocked… , but a rare case where symptoms begin at a very early age.
I picked this up, to be honest, because Courtney Love is a fascinating crazy person, and I wanted to find out what her mother was like. I discovered that her mother was - and is - a person like any other, who went through an awful lot of things in her tender years and beyond. In the end, Carroll writes about herself, and that is just as important as a biopic of Love.
This is a good read - disturbing at times, but portrays the triumphs and failures of one woman, who is a daughter and a mother, very well. Sep 16, Ann Ladd rated it it was amazing. If you're expecting this to be a juicy expose, you're going to be disappointed. Linda Carroll's book is a literate, thoughtful, moving account of adoption, growing up Catholic and coming to terms with large life losses and disappointments.
That there are some celebrity personages as part of the account is not the main point. This is a very human story - well told - that will encourage and comfort others who find pieces of these issues in their own life passage.